Doing things that are stereotypical to your gender

In sociology last week, we discussed gender. Our professor told us about the two different viewpoints that are used to define gender:

• Viewpoint #1 - Gender is based on sex. Basically whatever you got in your pants or skirt. And your genetics. Science stuff.
• Viewpoint #2 - Gender refers to physical, behavioral and social traits that society associates with each sex. So, if you're a girl who feels like you're actually a guy, then you're a guy.

For this post, I will adopt the second viewpoint. Mainly because the first has a lot of problems. Maybe not a lot, but, you know, some people could be offended. Also, please note that this post will be stereotypical. Hence the title of said post. Don't freak out. Don't sue me. Don't track me down and kill me.

Anyway.

About a week ago, a friend of mine offered to teach me how to use fighting sticks and beat me up. I was sceptical at first, mainly because I am not a fan of getting struck repeatedly by sticks, but after a long week of nonsense, I felt like I needed to forget the events of said past week. So I took him up on his offer.

It hurt. I was given many bruises. But it was worth it. Pain is weakness leaving the body!

I never go around starting fights, but the release of my angst helped me forget about some things. After the fight, the physical pain occupied my thoughts. I wasn't preoccupied with petty worries. It all worked out.

Of course, one doesn't have to go about with a pair of shinais, striking their friends. No, bruises are not necessary. All that is really needed is a bath of either testosterone or estrogen. Not literally, though. I don't think you can bathe in hormones. If you could, it probably wouldn't be good for you at all.

The following is a list of what each gender can do. We'll start with the boys. Why? Because I am a boy and it's easier. Why is it easier? Because I have a Y chromosome. Not another X.

XY

• Playing mindless or violent video games - Video games are a great way to channel anger and frustration. When partaking in video game playing in an effort to be more like your stereotype, it is important to note that said video game should be played with some friends. Playing alone is okay, but I've noticed that being in the presence of other guys brings out the the Y in XY a lot more.
• Fighting - As I've mentioned before, the fight should be among friends. The scuffle should be relatively clean. You're not out to kill. I hope. If you are out to kill, fight someone you don't like. Nevermind. Don't kill anyone.
• Eating meat - Steak. Eat it. Unless you're vegetarian. Or vegan. Lettuce? Fuck lettuce. Unless you're vegetarian. Or vegan.
• Working out - I worked out once. It hurt. If you aren't a weakling like me, working out is good. You can brag to all your friends afterwards. How much can you bench-press? Three cars? A pregnant elephant?
• Be a competitive asshole - "I bet I can leave my hand in this bucket of ice water longer than you can."

I can't think of anything else.

Anywho, as I have said earlier, I am a boy. Thus, not a girl. So for this next section, I asked a friend of mine what the stereotypes for girls are and stuff.

XX

• Shopping - "Oh, hi, newest styles. Distract me from my thoughts!"
• Talking on the phone - I'm not really used to talking on the phone unless it's business related. I once talked to a girl on a phone, though. Well, I have a lot in the past. But this one time it was different. It was, like, chit-chat. I was not familiar with it, so it was fascinating. I was told that talking to anyone, even if it isn't on the phone, can make a girl feel better and such.
• Girly sleepovers - I usually see this on television. There's a lot of gossiping and make-up wearing and dressing up and ice cream consuming. The girls look like they're having fun and stuff. So, yeah.
• Eating chocolate - I think someone lied when they said diamonds are a girl's best friend. It's definitely chocolate.
• Participating in a "Girls Night Out"- I have no idea what happens during one of these outings.

It appears the girl section isn't as well developed. Guess why? You guessed correctly! Anyway, I hope you get the idea.

Looking back at what I just typed, it seems kind of silly. I don't even know if it'll help. I mean, the only things that really apply to me from the XY section are the fighting and video game bits. Gender is weird. It's a topic one should be very careful on. I probably broke a billion rules. If you take anything from this, cool. If you don't and if you are pissed and are saying, "This guy is a total douchebag. I don't like doing any of those things. I'm gonna get a bunch of people together, buy a gratuitous amount of pitchforks and torches, find out where he lives and beat the crap out of him,"please don't. I mean, seriously, just don't do them.

It should be very evident that I am afraid of people.

Okay.

Um, if you are on the brink of insanity, and you want to do something to prevent that, but you feel like none of these things will help, do whatever it is you like to do. With your friends. Don't hurt people, though. Unless you like fighting.

I'm gonna stop now.

These people helped me write this:

Christine Salek, Ellen Labitzke,

Mental Health Days

One time, when I was, like, a sophomore or something, some kids were causing drama. High school drama, as you may know, is annoying and dumb, but it seems to be a requirement in life. Anyway, being the angsty teenager I was, this drama that had been stirred up made me, well, angsty. Feelings of sadness, grief and despair soon flooded my being. My mind wasn't functioning. A non-functioning mind is pretty useless, especially in school. I didn't want to go to school one of those days I was feeling down. I needed a mental health day. So, I did what many children my age would have done. I left my window open at night, ditched the covers and blankets on my bed, and embraced the cold, chilly, winter air.

I am aware that the cold does not induce illness. My mother, on the other hand, was/is not aware. So, knowing that my mum was gullible, and that those grimy little kids at school are basically breeding grounds for disease, I was able to convince my mother to let me stay home to recover.

I have a friend that once told me that being surrounded by negative people will make you feel like total crap. Unfortunately, eliminating people from existence is frowned upon in this society. So the best you can do is isolate yourself from those damn people. The best way to go about doing this is to isolate yourself in a house or abandoned building where drug dealers hang out. All contact with annoying humans should be avoided on mental health days.

While in isolation, the consumption of these items will speed up recovery:

• Apple juice
• Graham crackers
• Soda (Preferably grape or orange).
• Celery/apple slice with peanut butter
• Popcorn
• NaCl
• Imagine Whirled Peace ice cream
• Anything with little to no nutritional value

Sorry, diabetics. You can always substitute all this crap with sugar-less junk food or whatever.

It's late, I'm tired, deal with this.

Anyway...

While away from work, school, club meetings, presidential debates, cult gatherings, etc., it is also crucial to distract yourself from any negative thoughts. Eating all your problems away won't cure you. You have to do more. Reading may help, but I have discovered that playing mindless video games is much more effective. I mean, what better way to eliminate your problems than to imagine that guy you hate is the same guy who is about to get decapitated? Some good example of mindless video games are listed here:

• Sly Cooper Series (Try to avoid first and third)
• Jak and Daxter series
• Ratchet and Clank series
• God of War series
• Elite Beat Agents
• Any Pokemon game
• Bust-a-Move

There are of course more, but these are the ones that got me through the toughest of times.

Try your best to avoid any games that induce rage. These games include:

• Pac-Man

As you are lazing it up around the isolated building, feel free to make a mess. But make sure the mess isn't, um, too messy. Filth and such can make you feel gross and stuff, which will only lead to feeling upset which is what you DON'T want to feel on a mental health day.

Emotions can ruin your day. Avoid most emotions, if possible. Your goal is just to feel comfortable and at ease.

The goal of a mental health day is really just to let your mind atrophy and rot to the point that it can recover in one day. Oh, and make sure you will yourself back into reality before the day following the mental health day. This will prevent any mental shock.

So that's that. Let your mind rot for one day. This will, hopefully, allow you to deal with shit more effectively. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but hey, it's worked for some people.

This is the end.

-Alejandro Tinajero with contributions from Michael Juricich.