Monday, December 6, 2010

Recovery from Insanity

My last post was, well, interesting to say the least. I'm not saying the actual post was interesting, but the events that followed the post. It didn't go over well for some. It was misinterpreted, and I received quite a bit of, well, negativity. It wasn't pretty.

Yes, there was an epic battle of sorts, and both sides fought long and hard. But not really. It probably wasn't as dramatic as I make it sound, but, dear reader, I would just like to make it clear that some of the writing in my posts is meant to sound over-dramatic. I go out of my way to make things more exciting because, well, life is pretty damn boring.

Now then, events that took place concerning the previous post had left me in a very strange, uncomfortable position. All this constant bickering and fighting over something that really didn't matter left me feeling rather high-strung. I couldn't take it any more, and some of my internal organs probably exploded. Dearest reader, I went insane. Rather, I was close to going insane. I was on the brink of insanity. But I recovered.

So now that I've given a personal story, I will now continue to give some advice that may or may not suck. And it'll be in steps!

1. Realize you're insane or on the brink of insanity.

This is quite possibly one of the more difficult steps. Sometimes, it'll be simple to identify you're on the brink of insanity. Pay attention to your actions. If you notice that you're behaving rather strange, especially after something dramatic, traumatic, stressful, ridiculous or stupid happens. If your comportment is really off, you may be going insane. It is much more noticeable if you're writing or typing. You'll be able to see what you're saying, and that can really help.
More often than not, you probably won't be writing or typing when you're on the brink of insanity. I was fortunate enough to have been, so I acted quickly. If you aren't as lucky as I was, look at how others are reacting to your behavior. Especially if they're all like, "What the fuck is up with that guy/girl? He/She is crazy or something." Of course, being around people that actually know you well will definitely help in your self-diagnosis.

The following step is incredibly crucial, so pay attention. But you don't really have to. Whatevs.

The First 2. Calm down.
Pretty self-explanatory, I think. Try taking the situation in stride, tell yourself, "I'm probably going insane, but now that I know I am, I can do something about it and things will be cool and stuff." Reassure yourself. If you don't, you'll probably freak out and the problem will exacerbate, which is the opposite of what you want.
If that works, continue to step three. If it fails...

At this point you're still freaking out, the situation may have gotten a lot worse, and all hell is about to break loose. It's time to take drastic actions! Breathe all deep and stuff. Have others reassure you. Sit and attempt to relax. Fight the urge to do anything drastic. You know, all that kind of stuff. Find your happy place.

3. Recovery.
This step involves doing stuff you like. Unhealthy, junk food helps a lot, as well as sugary, fizzy, different colored beverages. Caffeine won't help, though. Not at all. Make yourself as comfortable as possible. Find a nice warm spot on the couch, by the fire, with a cat, a dog, or a hedgehog. Except if you're in California. You can't have hedgehogs there. Take a warm shower or bath, and let your muscles relax as your body recalls those wonderful, warm, safe days spent in the womb of your mum, surrounded by amniotic fluid. Try not to think about what happened. It was a terrible, tragic event, and dwelling on it will just freak the living life out of you.*

4. Sleep.
I'm not gonna explain this one.

So that's that. I actually don't know if this always work. Last night was the first time I tried it, and it seemed to work pretty well. Sort of. I didn't get much sleep, though. But it's probably because I went against the steps I made up and drank a Vanilla Coke at, like, ten o' clock, or something. That wasn't smart.

Anyway, I feel like this was poorly written, but I don't care. I'm gonna blame it on the stupid things that happened yesterday.


*That was a stupid sentence.


  1. Sleep is great for anything. ANYTHING.

  2. Seriously! Except for maybe coma patients. :/